DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
