I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
