im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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