FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize