"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
