dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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