Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
In America we eat man semen.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It's never too late to be topless.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
