Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
