If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
