My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
