it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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