Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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