I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
