Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
