I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize