we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
