Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
