Soap is not a condiment
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
