i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
it's like iHOP with fire
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
