We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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