I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
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