It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
