I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
