sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
