i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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