it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
