Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Still dying that you shit outside
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Can't talk, ducks in the car
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
