I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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