i just google imaged poop.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
