Having a random hookup so left but love u
you guys were way drunker than both of me
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
