he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Randomize
