cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
