What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
