the day after is always just damage control
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
