No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
