Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm gonna fight the coyote
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
