i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
