You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
