Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
