great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
