the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
