she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
