another moral hangover. fuck.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
