Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
