No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize