WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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