He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i think my cat just said my name.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
