I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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