It's like God shit irony all over that family
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
