i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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