if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize