"it" just moved
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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