Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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