So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
party gras won. party gras always wins.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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