i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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