Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
this will be a night to untag.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
