Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize