Well douche your snatch and let's go!
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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