Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
