i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
