so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
