I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I could make wine with my vomit
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
