i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
